Align With What Is

While working on his painting this morning, CJ was inspired by a message and decided to share it with his listeners. CJ shares his experience with his tremor and how it has formed a relationship between him and his art. It is only by accepting all of yourself—including those things you may consider shortcomings—that you can expand your creative expression. We bring our complete selves to the creative process.

If you’ve been avoiding creativity because of some perceived limitation, consider how you might continue creating despite it—or perhaps even because of it. CJ has learned to develop a style of painting that includes his tremor, and it has become part of what makes his work uniquely his own.

What is includes the tremor, your body, your circumstances, the paint, the unexpected mark—and even what comes back from the creative field. You’re not overcoming reality in order to create. 

CJ also explores how we are in relationship with the creative field of intelligence. That’s right—we are constantly receiving guidance, messages, and feedback from the creative field. How we choose to respond is key. Do we move with the flow, or do we resist it? Either way creates an outcome, but one way empowers us.

Choose relationship. And watch your creativity grow.

Want to learn more about CJ Miller? Check out his Spiritual Artist Retreats, 1:1 Personal Coaching, and Speaking Engagements at www.spiritualartisttoday.com. His retreats are designed to help you reconnect with your Creative Intelligence and express your true artistic voice. You can also find his upcoming schedule there, and his book, The Spiritual Artist, is available on Amazon.

Transcript

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Good day. This is the Spiritual Artist Podcast. This is CJ Miller, your host. Um, I just spent the morning, about an hour and a half, painting and working on a painting. And when I paint, I get very inspired and ideas come to me. It's it's because I'm entering what I call this connection, this this uh channel to the spirit. Welcome to the Spiritual Artist Podcast. This is Chris Miller. I invite you to join me as I interview artists from a variety of disciplines. We'll share powerful stories and lessons learned while making their art. And um, so I get inspired with thoughts about my life, about things, and I started thinking about something, and I want to share it with you. It's a bit of a story, so if you're patient, uh I think you'll enjoy it. But I'm it's also a bit of vulnerability here because I'm going to share some things about myself and also kind of a spiritual struggle that we all have. I think we all have this. So as I was painting, I'm always learning new ways of creating on paper. But I want to tell you a little story. Uh, many years ago, many years ago, when I was um, I guess it was around the year 2000, I decided that I was gonna be and learn how to be an artist. Um I spend many hours at the desk running an ad agency, and I wanted to do something where I could stand up and be creative. So I decided I was gonna start making art, and I did. I set up a studio in my office with my staff, and every afternoon I would paint, and I really was focused on it. And I love it. You, you know, I guess you could guess that, right? I love the act of painting. Well, a little later, um, we adopted my son, and he was a six-month-old baby, and we adopted him, and it was a fraught time. And so finally, after we worked with through uh rights and of raising him, we got a court to give us uh custody of Blake. He was about two. And so we went to Alaska to celebrate this wonderful, momentous occasion. And so I want to share this with you because this is how life is, isn't it? I'm on the bus with my son. He's just a little toddler. My husband, we're going on a uh outing up up in the in Anchorage, up in there in Alaska, walking around. And I get a phone call from my mother, of all things. And I answer the phone, and she proceeds to tell me that she was just at the doctor's office and found out that she has a tremor. And she wanted to tell me right away while I was on vacation, she wanted to tell me right away that it's inherited and that both of her sons will get it. And I was like, Well, what? And that's funny because it was almost just at the same time that I started noticing this tremor that I had. And my hand shakes. It shakes. And it's called a non-essential tremor, but I guess to us artists, you would consider it rather essential. And it was slow and minor, and I started watching it and I started noticing that um it gets worse when I drink coffee or when I'm excited or after I work out. Um, it's like the muscles enhance it. And and I can't tell you, I want to share this with you because this is the vulnerable part. There's a part of me that sits there or did sit there and go, God, God, or as I like to term it now, the creative field of intelligence, why have you done this to me? Why have you done this to me? I decided my intention was clear. I wanted to be an artist. And now sometimes I shake and I have to deal with that. And you know what? I'm not sure I got a direct answer, obviously. You know, we always sometimes we do hear inspired words or actions, but what I did get was a thing that inspired me. I went and started continuing to paint, even with the tremor. And I noticed that I had developed a way of painting. I had developed a way of painting despite the tremor. I use a straight edge brush, I would drag outward, and I noticed that I have this tendency to paint differently than most people. Most people might move their arm all the way down in one big stroke, but when you shake, you become very conscious that it's a waving line. It's a waverly line. And yes, it triggers insecurity. And so I learned to pull outward and draw strokes differently. But more importantly, I started realizing that I painted differently than other people. I learned a different way of painting. Well, could that be an answer from the creative field of intelligence? Was it telling me this is a message from us? This is a message from the creative field. And yes, you have to work around this tremor. It wasn't saying, and I don't think it was, and I've I've actually taken this on. It wasn't saying stop being an artist. It was saying you have to be an artist through you, through what is given to you, through what your normal traits are. Does that make sense? Let's give it a comparison. Let's say you're colorblind, does that mean that spirit, God, the creative field of intelligence is telling you that you can't be an artist? Or is it telling you that you should be an artist through the creativity of color that you see? Through what color you see, it will be unique and it will be of you. And you know, this ties in with what I teach at my retreats. We are all creative beings. So if you're listening to this podcast and we all have issues, and you're saying, I can't do this because what if you realize that I can do it differently because? What if you change that to my personal expression is because of this? For example, there are people that can't walk. That doesn't mean they can't do certain kinds of dance. I've actually saw this wonderful moving video on Instagram where a man was in a wheelchair in this courtyard dancing in the wheelchair, moving the wheelchair around in such beautiful choreographed synchronicity, using his upper body, not his lower body, but using the wheels of the chair as part of his expression. Isn't that beautiful? And so as I was painting this morning, because you know this happens every time, I get frustrated. Why is that line wavy? Why is it not perfect? And I quickly go, because that's the way I do it. And sometimes I clean the line up, sometimes I fix it, and sometimes I actually use it, I use it to be even more creative in a different way. But I'm not gonna sit here and I'm not gonna pretend that there aren't days where I'm trying to sign a letter or write a letter and I can't do it. I literally can't do it well. Or, or when I can't paint a straight line, when I really want a tight line, that I don't get really mad. And there's a part of me that says, why, why, why? I have to, as quickly as I can, realize that there is a message in this, but it is not an end. And so what I want to share with you is I put I posted this in my spiritual artist circle. I do have a circle group that you can sign up for. It's on the circle app, it's called the Spiritual Artist Circle. Go look for it. But I posted a thing up there about um we are in relationship. What does it mean when we are in relationship with God? It means that God is always speaking to us. I want you to start realizing that. Uh, some of the old theologies think that God spoke to us many years ago, 2,000 years ago, 3,000 years ago, whatever you want to say, and it's done. This is the message, and we are complete. That's not the case. God is speaking to you constantly through everything that comes to you. The creative field of intelligence is reacting to you. And when you align with it, and so when I talk about, and I do talk about this on retreats, aligning with the creative field of intelligence. That's what I did. I aligned with the fact that I have a tremor. Does that make sense? And most of you are going, well, what do you mean? That means you're just giving up or you're accepting it. Or no, it means I align with what is. I align with what is. The reason I'm sharing this story is because we are in relationship to this creativity. There is a field around us, it's always creating. Think about it. Everything space, earth, the planets, the water, the plants, your next door neighbor, they're all in the creative field of intelligence. There's a field and energy, and it's always expanding. And you can count on one thing: it's always looking for the next best creative thing. Sometimes that leaves things behind. I have to leave behind the expectation of doing really tight watercolors or uh ink drawings, pen and ink drawings. I've learned to paint large. I there's a reason that I gravitate towards large canvas. It's part of my creative DNA, but it's because it's who I am through my body and through my tremor. I I would be, I it's agonizing. And I have tried, and it's actually another way to go, and it's interesting. So I'm not saying I closed it off. I've tried drawing on a little two inch by two inch piece of watercolor paper. And you know what? I've learned ways to make it work with watercolor. I've learned ways to make it work. So everything we are comes together when we are in the creative process. We bring our complete whole selves. But what I want you to understand is you are whole the way you are. The creative expression of the field of intelligence is designed to be unique through you. Perhaps you are colorblind, perhaps you have a tremor, perhaps your hands don't move as clear. Well, there's always another way to do it. So this is an invitation for you to start realizing how can I go and still do what I want? What if I use scissors instead of painting? What if I model clay instead of holding a brush? Don't ever think that creativity is taken out of the equation because you are in a creative field of intelligence. Do you hear me? Don't ever think that creativity is unavailable to you. You have to be. You are part of the creative field of intelligence. And everything in the creative field of intelligence is creative. So I was reminded this morning as I painted, I'm learning a new technique. Um, it was Virginia Cobb, my mentor. It was her method, some of her tools that she uses. And I realized she uses a mister, and you'll see this if you come to my retreat in November, or if you just come to any retreat or watch me online on my channel. She uses a mister. She puts down fluid acrylic and then she mists it until little bubbles form, where it literally picks up the pigment, it disturbs the pigment. And then she takes a Kleenex lightly over it and a brayer and she picks up. She picks the color back up, leaving little speckled moments on the canvas. And so this morning I'm doing my style, something I enjoy. I call it a mural-type style. But guess what? I'm exploring. Oh, well, what happens if I do it with speckles? What happens if I start creating these shapes and defining them through layers of color, where a magenta shows through a chocolate brown, through little speckles made by this method? And I'm realizing that yes, this tool that I learned from Virginia many years ago actually can join my tool belt, so to speak. It joins the way I hold a brush through my trimmer, it joins the way I see things through my eye. And that's another whole story because I have damage to my left eye from LASIK. But I bring all of that to where I am today. And so today I'm painting and it's like it's it's me, but it keeps evolving. And as a spiritual artist, you will keep evolving in your work. And when I say artist, if you're still listening to this and going, well, I'm not an artist, this is this is a principle that applies to anything you're doing: an engineer, a mathematician, uh a chef, a writer, it's all the same. You're bringing who you are to the process. Don't forget that. You are part of the creative field of intelligence. Spirit flows through you as you. Spirit flows through you as you. And so I'm doing this method with Virginia. I'm going, oh, how neat. This is combining with my straight edges, my my abilities. And I want to share another thing that's really funny. Um I have I can do nice smooth lines. And in a weird way, there was a period in my growth as an artist where just in a purposeful despite, let me explain that, to just just as spite to the fact that I have a tremor, I started really focusing on straight lines. Isn't that funny? I went toward what I couldn't do the most. And I've perfected ways of loosening my arm and doing these long curly strokes and learning how to fall in love with that straight edge. Because it was like me daring, daring the gods, so to speak, daring the situation. I was saying, despite my trauma, I can do this. If I breathe and I calm down and I hold steady, I can do beautiful straight lines. Large, that's much harder on a small scale. So even my resistance became part of my creative DNA. Let me say that again. Even my resistance. So whether I resisted learning how to tremor or step into the tremor, it's going to join me on the journey. But I will tell you this it's easier to go with it. It's easier to go with the flow. Just be in relationship to it. Oh, look what happened when I put this water on this ink. This time it didn't work. Virginia's method doesn't work when I put a light color on top of a dark or a dark on light or whatever the situation is. Actually, it does, but it does work. But there are situations where it won't work, where it gets messy, or it's not the effect I want, or it's too much disturbance in the paint. That's what's so amazing, right? It's it's always about exploring those new skills and going with the flow and stepping into it, but you are in relationship to it. You are in relationship to it. So I want to explain that. Think about daily. You are in relationship to the creative field of intelligence all day long. All day long, life is bringing you challenges, traffic going in one direction, a canceled meeting, someone that you you had friction with, and they're all leading you toward new doors. If you start going and saying, every time I have a challenge, the tremor has led me toward a new door. You're right. I'm never going to be able to paint these little tiny details inside of an egg. You know what? It's not going to happen. Little CJ, CJ is not going to be able to do that because God has said, that's not for me. Spirit has said that's not for you, but I can do some really amazing things with what I do have. You can do some really amazing things for what you do have. So I hope you enjoyed this story. I love when I paint and I think about why and how I resist things and how I've learned to let go and just have a relationship with the painting, let it talk to me. Sometimes it says, ah, you screwed this up. And I go, Okay, all right, how do I fix it? And I try something else. It's never over, it's never finished. It's a relationship. Okay. So if you haven't already had my book, The Spiritual Artist, it's on Amazon. But I do approach a lot of these concepts from the very basicness of them, uh, about judgment and flow and love and stepping into the vortex or the creative flow of intelligence, all those things. Get the book. I would love it. Um, thanks for listening. And right now, just for the rest of the day, or actually the rest of the week, every time something comes up to you, say, hmm, how can I relate to this? How should I relate? How do I choose to relate to it? I know it's challenging. If a meeting cancels and you really wanted that meeting, you can say, Oh, get mad, why did they cancel? I really want this to happen. Or you can say, hmm, maybe I need more time to think about this decision before I have that meeting. Hmm. I'm gonna trust the creative field of intelligence. So go out there and be a spiritual artist. Thanks again for listening. Bye. Thanks again for listening to the Spiritual Artist Podcast. Whether you're watching this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Play, or iHeartRadio, make sure you choose the subscribe button so that you will receive updates when new segments are released. Most importantly, be still listen and know that you are a spiritual artist.